Each week, Miss Manners answers questions exclusively from the MSN audience on all of your etiquette dilemmas. (Have an issue you want help with? Send in a question today.) Read on for this week's hot topics:
DEAR MISS MANNERS,
With such frequent use of Iphones, Ipads, Blackberries --all those types of communication-- in the presence of others (parties, dinners, you name it), how does one politely break in to start a conversation, ask a question, suggest that the parent watch their child climbing on the railing? Do you wait for them to quit 'thumbing', look from the device, say 'excuse me', or yell to watch the kid?
GENTLE READER,
"Taking these in reverse order:
No, you do not yell at the parents. You yell "Watch out!" at the child, loud enough to get their attention, as well as the child's.
Trying to talk with people who are obviously not interested in you or anyone else present is harder. Miss Manners wonders why you would attempt it, instead of letting them alone, to the extent of removing them from your guest lists.
If you must address them, you will, of course, apologize: 'I'm so sorry to interrupt --I see you're busy-- but may I trouble you to get off my foot?'"
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DEAR MISS MANNERS,
My mother passed away two years ago. Since then, the events of my life seemed to be running at such a pace (a move to a new area, divorce, the diagnosis of autism for my young son), that I never sent thank you notes to those who attended my mother's funeral, or who gave kind gifts.
I feel guilty enough about this to think about it quite often, but how does one begin to write such a note of the "I should have done this two years ago..." variety?
GENTLE READER,
"Do you hope to extract more sympathy from these people-- only this time, sympathy about how busy you have been?
Miss Manners thought that the point was to thank them. That would be better done by writing that although it is two years since your mother died, you still think of the kindness that was shown you.
But here is some mercy for you: It is not necessary to write those who merely attended the funeral; only those who wrote condolence letters, did favors or chores, or sent presents."
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Judith Martin's latest book is No Vulgar Hotel: The Desire and Pursuit of Venice. She is also the author of Miss Manners' Guide toExcruciatingly Correct Behavior(Freshly Updated). She and her husband, a scientist and playwright, live in Washington, D.C. They have two perfect children, of course.
