Each week, Miss Manners answers questions exclusively from the MSN audience on all of your etiquette dilemmas. (Have an issue you want help with? Send in a question today.) Read on for this week's hot topics:
Dear Miss Manners,
I'm wondering if I should follow up on a "no show" for a party I recently hosted or is that considered rude?
I hosted a medium size (25 people) party in my home recently and one couple did not come, even though they had indicated they would. This was a somewhat special occasion - the guest of honor was a much loved former professor of all of ours who was briefly back in town - and I'm a little concerned that the other guest didn't come. It's just not like her.
Is it bad manners to check in and just say she was missed and I hope all is well? Or does it just put them in an awkward spot to try to respond?
Gentle Reader,
Why should it be awkward? Your friend has only to say, "We were run over by a truck on the way to your house, but we feel better now and were just about to call you and apologize."
The embarrassment would be only if they missed the truck, as well as your party. But then, Miss Manners assures you, they will be the cause of it, not you.
*******
Dear Miss Manners,
I have searched high and low for an answer to this question to no avail.
My mother-in-law is coming with her two younger sons (ages 13 and 17) to stay with us for about 5 days. We will be traveling in the car to go sightseeing every day. Who sits in the front: Her or me? Does the etiquette change because she has two teenage sons (my brother-in-laws)?
Please let me know. I just want to do the proper thing. Obviously I don't want to be squished in the backseat of our car with the boys, but if it is the proper thing to allow her to sit up front then I will do that. Please let me know. They are coming in less than two weeks. I've asked several friends about this and they all are divided.
Gentle Reader,
You didn't search everywhere. The proper person to consult is your mother-in-law. As both your elder and your guest, she should be asked where she prefers to sit.
If you think that the back seat will be uncomfortable, you will not want to impose it upon her. Or so Miss Manners would like to believe. Your mother-in-law may actually prefer it, however. Or she may be equally polite and insist upon your sitting up front.
Judith Martin's latest book is No Vulgar Hotel: The Desire and Pursuit of Venice. She is also the author ofMiss Manners' Guide toExcruciatingly Correct Behavior(Freshly Updated). She and her husband, a scientist and playwright, live in Washington, D.C. They have two perfect children, of course.
