How to Get the Life You WantYou've been putting it off forever — that secret dream to start a business, write a book, run a marathon.... Whatever your desire, ignoring it means denying who you really are. And don't you deserve better? Here, your no-excuses, no-regrets guide to answering the voice in your head that says, "I want more."
Ask yourself: Are you ready to finally tackle the burden or bad habit that's been dragging you down?
Quit smoking or lose weight or stop biting your nails or be on time or...?
To truly commit to these more "ordinary" yearnings, you need to give them the same emotional investment and time as "bigger" dreams. Know, too, that tackling this type of goal may be especially difficult for you if you've tried - and failed - to achieve it in the past. Or perhaps it's daunting because you're not sure you're ready to do the hard work it requires. Either way, the longer you let yourself live with this albatross, the more your self-esteem suffers. To change all that:
Step 1: Make a vow.
Quit procrastinating on this dream by being honest with yourself: Draw a line down the center of a piece of paper to create two columns; label one side "Why Now" and one "Why Not." In the "Why Now" column, list the reasons why it's the right time to meet the challenge (for instance, if you want to lose weight, one reason to go for it might be that you found out a friend has prediabetes, which was a wake-up call for you). On the "Why Not" side, note why it's not a good time (it might be unrealistic to commit to daily workouts right before two busy weeks of business travel).
Now, weigh the two sides: If you're ready to commit to your goal, write a promise to yourself at the bottom of the page, and put it in a place where you'll see it often, like on your bathroom mirror. If you decide that now isn't the time for this goal, decide when to revisit it. Write that aspiration in big red letters on your calendar.
Step 2: Find your cheerleaders.
"Accountability is the key to success," explains Fortgang. "You don't want to be left to your own devices when the going gets tough." Your support system can include family, friends, even someone you hire (such as a personal trainer). You might also want to try an online chat group like the stop-smoking site Quitnet.com, or check out "Drop the Weight for Good," to meet the women in REDBOOK's Real-Life Healthy Life program, and then form your own weight-loss support group (go to meetup.com/redbook for details).
Tell your pep squad that you'll check in with them at a specific, regular time with a status report (as in, "I'll email you after my weekly weigh-in every Friday morning") and when you need extra reinforcement ("The ice cream in the fridge is screaming to me - talk me out of it").
Step 3: Pat yourself on the back - regularly.
"Working toward your goal is an accomplishment in and of itself," says Fortgang. So reward yourself weekly: Put $5 toward a "new outfit fund," or give yourself a bouquet of flowers for staying smoke-free.
Be especially kind to yourself when you have setbacks. Instead of beating yourself up or quitting altogether, examine why you veered off course, figure out what you need to do to stay on track, and remind yourself that you're the smart, capable CEO of your busy life - and you have all the tools you need to keep moving forward! "Remember: You get to start over every day, every hour, every minute!" says Fortgang.
inspire: live a better life
A look back on all of the tiny tasks that 30 years of technology has saved you from.
What sets you apart from everyone else looking for a new job or bigger paycheck? Your profile!
With all those deals you snagged on Black Friday, Small Business Saturday, and Cyber Monday, today is your chance to give back to those in need with #GivingTuesday.
Miss Manners provides guidance on how to handle a request for party contributions
Miss Manners instructs on why tit-for-tat never works
Miss Manners offers thoughts on guests who disregard dinner party instructions
Rinse and repeat.
Make big bucks, from home, having fun? These women got creative and figured out a way to have it all. You can too.
Your boss. You might like her, you probably respect her, but do you know how to approach someone who seems so different from you? (Spoiler: She’s actually not.)
Over the weekend, Oprah decluttered her Montecito mansion and three other properties in a Santa Barbara yard sale that brought in more than $600,000(!). (Proceeds will benefit her girls’ leadership academy in South Africa, and not half of a Crate and Barrel chair, the traditional end goal of yard-sale proceeds.)
Exclusively for MSN, we bring you a six-part series from the new book: MISS MANNERS MINDS YOUR BUSINESS by Judith and Nicholas Ivor Martin.