Feel Sexy in Your Skin
If someone told you that you could send insecurity packing and radiate serious sex appeal in and out of your clothes just by reading this article, would you believe it? If you said no (or even thought it for a fleeting second), then you're exactly the kind of person who could totally benefit from what we're about to tell you. You see, attitude counts for a lot in life, and making little adjustments to yours can pay off. For example, "shutting out the negative chatterbox in your head that criticizes every little perceived flaw and learning to appreciate your unique beauty is essential to true happiness and real confidence" says Susan Jeffers, PhD, author of Life Is Huge. The real shocker: It's easier than you think. Your guide to basking in body bravado -- even in the buff -- and achieving a new level of allure starts here.
Ditch Your Self-Bashing Mind-Set
"Left to their own devices, many women will focus on negative things about themselves more than the positive," says Darlene Mininni, PhD, author of The Emotional Tool Kit. If you want to revel in body confidence, turn off that self-critical tape that's on a loop in your head.
Quit cracking "jokes" about your bod.
"Even casual, half-kidding self-assessments get lodged in your brain as truth," says Jeffers. Get into the habit of censoring yourself every time you're about to utter a derogatory comment like "I'll probably need a minus-A cup for my pancake chest."
Put yourself in the hot seat.
When negative beliefs creep into your mind, fight back and challenge each one like a trial lawyer," says Mininni. If you think, I've gained so much weight, ask yourself What evidence is there? Have I had to throw out my old clothes and buy larger sizes? If the answer is no, you'll have to face the harsh truth -- you haven't packed on the pounds.
Listen to what those voices are really saying.
Insecure thoughts can be deceiving. "They usually occur because you're feeling powerless or scared in some aspect of your life," says Los Angeles hypnotherapist Nancy Irwin, PsyD. So when that inner voice taunts you, ask What's really bothering me? Maybe you had a spat with your guy or you're anxious about work. Identify the true source of your angst so you can ditch self-hate and tackle the real issue.
Look at "I'm a hottie" evidence.
Beth, 29*, blasts her body blues by flipping through a photo album she's filled with the most flattering pictures of herself. "Seeing proof that I am attractive, despite what my mind is saying, makes me feel great about myself again," she says.
Enjoy Being Eye Candy
Do you ever burn with self-consciousness when a guy checks you out -- even if it's your boyfriend trying to cop a stare as you make a dash sans clothes to the bathroom? Learn to love being ogled and your sex appeal -- and confidence -- will go through the roof.
inspire: live a better life
Miss Manners advises on how to respond when one gets unsolicited advice about weight issues.
Editor's note: We will now be publishing Miss Manners articles twice weekly, but you will only see one question and answer per article. You can expect to see these articles appear on Tuesdays and Thursdays going forward.
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