Mother: I regret having my kids
Isabella Dutton says her two children are 'like parasites.’
For many women, having a child is a joyous, albeit life-changing, occasion. But for 57-year-old Isabella Dutton of Britain, it was her biggest mistake.
Dutton, a typist, wrote a first-hand account for the U.K.’s Daily Mail in which she details her regrets about having her two children, Stuart and Jo.
“My son Stuart was five days old when the realisation hit me like a physical blow: Having a child had been the biggest mistake of my life,” she wrote. “I felt completely detached from this alien being who had encroached upon my settled married life and changed it, irrevocably, for the worse.”
Dutton said that despite her indifference, she invested all of her time and energy into caring for her children. But she soon came to resent their neediness and the time spent doting on them that could have been used to “reflect, read and enjoy her own company.”
She described her own family life as “happy” and “conventional” as one of five siblings.
“I know there are millions who will consider me heinously cold-blooded and unnatural, but I believe there will also be those who secretly feel the same,” Dutton wrote.
Universally, it's more common to hear of women who regret the decision not to have children, and according to a recent U.K. survey, it’s the same for most men.
The small study, conducted at Keele University, found that men are as likely as women to regret not having children. More than half the men surveyed said they felt jealous of people with kids, compared with under half of the women.
But Dutton is not most women. She never got over the peace and simplicity that she loved about her life before her kids came along.
"It's just that I have been honest -- some may contend brutally so -- and admitted to my true feelings," she wrote. "In doing so I have broken a supposedly inviolable law of nature. What kind of mother, after all, wishes she hadn't had children?"
What do you think about Dutton’s point of view about her children? Tell us in the comments.
Photo: Alexandra Grablewski/Getty Images
She's right. Parenthood is not all Kodak moments and it can suck. For life. And there is no getting out of it. Ever.
Why jump on her for being one of the few verbally honest women saying it? Friends and people mutter it under their breath all the time. And it's not like she dropped kicked her kid into a vat of oil to get rid of it, or went all Casey on them. She's taking care of them and their needs. She doesn't think it's the end all and be all of her life, and she has regrets.
And she's not selfish for stating her truth. Grow up and tend to your own kids and stop being so judgmental.
Extremely selfish and self-centered, is what you are, lady. Not only did your poor kids have to feel the rejection from you growing up, but now they get to read about it on the internet. You do not know what love is, let alone know how to give it. I suggest for your children's sake: get therapy! The world does not revolve around you. From the moment those kids were conceived, a commitment was made by you to love and nurture those children forever. Period. No gray areas, that is how it is. I feel sorry for you. Going through life unable to really love anyone more than you love yourself, is a tragedy and very, very sad.
Prayers to your children.
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