Ridiculous parenting products

We've all joked about outfitting an unsteady toddler in a helmet -- but we weren't serious! No one wants to put their baby at (very low) risk for a head injury, but a few bumps and bruises seem like just part of the trial-and-error of learning to walk.

Video: Totally awesome perks of being a mom

We're all for time outs, but a special pad that times it, makes sounds, and turns the whole thing into a game? We're thinking a chair against the wall plus an egg timer works just fine.

Bing: How to use time out effectively

If you want to put your baby to sleep in a cardboard box, we've got several in the recycling bin -- plus we won't charge you $250+!

Video: How to buy gifts for a baby

The words "battery operated" and "nasal aspirator" just shouldn't go together. Babies are generally not a fan of aspirators -- can you imagine your kiddo's terror if the thing buzzed and vibrated too?

Bing: When to use a nasal aspirator

What's more cuddly than a placenta? Not only must you cut, cure and emulsify the organ, you have to actually sew it into the teddy bear using this kit.

Video: How to tell if toys are safe

We can't help but get creeped out looking at these disembodied hands cradling a baby. Even worse -- they strike us as a blatant SIDS risk.

Bing: How to safely put your infant to bed

Does a baby really need bling? And does said bling have to go in her mouth? In fact, some bedazzled binkies have already been recalled, so definitely skip this one.

Video: How to wean a toddler off a pacifier

These are gorgeously rustic. But they're also $150...for crayons -- that you can't sharpen without a pocketknife.

You thought a regular-sized sonogram was hard to make out -- what about one that's the size of a dime? Our tip: wait until the baby's born, and treat Dad to cufflinks featuring a sweet baby photo instead.

Kids grow up so fast already -- we don't need to speed it up by dressing babies in adult-looking heels (even if you're Suri Cruise and those T-straps are designed by Marc Jacobs)