Ridiculous Parenting Products
Thudguard Infant Safety Hat
We've all joked about outfitting an unsteady toddler in a helmet -- but we weren't serious! No one wants to put their baby at (very low) risk for a head injury, but a few bumps and bruises seem like just part of the trial-and-error of learning to walk.
Time Out Pad
We're all for time outs, but a special pad that times it, makes sounds, and turns the whole thing into a game? We're thinking a chair against the wall plus an egg timer works just fine.
Cardboard Album Customizable Cot
If you want to put your baby to sleep in a cardboard box, we've got several in the recycling bin -- plus we won't charge you $250+!
Bébésounds Nasal Clear Battery Operated Nasal Aspirator
The words "battery operated" and "nasal aspirator" just shouldn't go together. Babies are generally not a fan of aspirators -- can you imagine your kiddo's terror if the thing buzzed and vibrated too?
Placenta Teddy Bear
What's more cuddly than a placenta? Not only must you cut, cure and emulsify the organ, you have to actually sew it into the teddy bear using this kit.
Zaky Infant Pillow
We can't help but get creeped out looking at these disembodied hands cradling a baby. Even worse -- they strike us as a blatant SIDS risk.
Swarovski Rainbow Sparkle Silicone Pacifier
Does a baby really need bling? And does said bling have to go in her mouth? In fact, some bedazzled binkies have already been recalled, so definitely skip this one.
65-twig Crayons Set
These are gorgeously rustic. But they're also $150...for crayons -- that you can't sharpen without a pocketknife.
You thought a regular-sized sonogram was hard to make out -- what about one that's the size of a dime?
Our tip: wait until the baby's born, and treat Dad to cufflinks featuring a sweet baby photo instead.
Her First High Heels
Kids grow up so fast already -- we don't need to speed it up by dressing
babies in adult-looking heels (even if you're Suri Cruise and those T-straps are designed by Marc Jacobs)