71 new mom truthsAn incomplete list of the extraordinary, mundane, frustrating, and funny facts of your new life as a mom.
47. You will wake up feeling sick one morning but will muster the strength to get through the day with your baby because you have to.
48. You will take waaaay longer to go on your first postbaby getaway than you'd imagined.
49. You will be excited when your tot grows out of one size and into the next.
50. You will be sad to put away what he's grown out of.
51. You will actually be in the mood for sex one night, only to find that your husband's passed out cold in bed.
52. You will not be in the mood for sex as he runs his foot along your unshaven legs and touches your greasy hair.
53. You will be grateful for K-Y Jelly.
54. You will consider your husband's work commute his alone time, and be jealous of it.
55. You will be taken by surprise by your first postpartum period.
56. You will struggle to stay close to some of your childless friends.
57. You will wonder how your stay-at-home-mom friends do it.
58. You will wonder how your working-mom friends do it.
59. You will make peace with your stretch marks because they give you character.
60. You will accept that your husband will never be as paranoid about the baby as you are, and will decide that's a good thing.
61. You will eventually find a playgroup whose kids are on the same schedule as yours.
62. You will hear yourself tell brand-new moms that the first 12 weeks really do fly by, even though it pissed you off when people told you that.
63. You will live for your girls' nights out, once you get a couple under your belt and see that everything at home went just fine without you.
64. You will find Cheerios in odd places.
65. You won't care that she's getting food in her hair when she does "So Big" in her high chair.
66. You will cherish the freedom to empty the dishwasher while your baby holds his morning bottle himself.
67. You will miss the smell of Dreft once you get the green light to wash infant clothes with yours.
68. You will try not to take it personally when your sweetie's first word is "Da-Da." It must be easier to pronounce.
69. You will write more-heartfelt thank-you notes to anyone who gives a toy without lights, batteries, and noise.
70. You will be relieved when your child turns 1. You didn't break him.
71. You will marvel at the volumes of unconditional love you have for your most wonderful achievement -- your baby.
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