71 new mom truthsAn incomplete list of the extraordinary, mundane, frustrating, and funny facts of your new life as a mom.
1.You will hear all sorts of delivery and nursing nightmare stories once you start sharing your own.
2. You will want to burn your maternity clothes -- even if you plan on having more kids.
3. You will lose tiny socks in the wash.
4. You will be able to shower, wash and dry your hair, and get dressed in less than ten minutes.
5. You will want to apologize to friends and family who had kids before you for never really getting why they had less time for you.
Bing: Gifts for new moms
6. You will fantasize about what you would swap for a good eight hours of sleep.
7. You will be so proud of every ounce your baby gains.
8. You will wonder whether it's possible to get all the crud out of your baby's skin folds.
9. You will laugh at your OB when she asks what you plan on using for birth control at your six-week postpartum checkup.
10. You won't stop worrying that you'll make your tot bleed when you clip his fingernails.
11. You will wish you had the time and brain cells to read just one of the novels you blew through when pregnancy heartburn kept you up all night.
12. You will want to throw the baby monitor out the window.
13. You won't have the desire or the time to iron the crib skirt after you first wash it. And the wrinkles will drive you crazy. But not crazy enough to dismantle the crib and iron it.
14. You will wonder how other new moms manage to be so skinny, put-together, or energetic.
15. You will think you seem pretty together compared with other new moms you see.
16. You will dread encountering baby-crazed preschoolers with runny noses and coughs.
17. You will never again touch an infant that isn't yours on the hands or face.
18. You will forget all about your difficult day with your baby when you finally see her sleeping peacefully at night.
19. You will have some mornings when you bounce out of bed to get the baby... and others when you need a truck to pull you from under the covers.
20. You will thank God for caffeine.
21. You will get used to how your husband comes home from work, checks on the baby, and "accidentally" wakes him up.
22. You will pretend you don't smell your child's dirty diaper as you hand her to Dad.
News, stories, tips and laughs for moms & dads
Make sure your go-to gadgets are as cute as your style, with these trendy tech finds!
Oh, how the times have changed...
Get ready to hit the mall! Check out the hottest back-to-school trends—and get ready to make a major style statement this year.
Unique, or downright strange?
This is Kevin Droniak and his grandma. They’re besties, they’re awesome and they’re YouTube stars.
It can be difficult to entice little ones to eat anything at all, let alone to devour a healthy plate. But feeding your kids nutritious snacks after school just got way easier, thanks to these adorably clever and cute snack ideas! For more smart and fun ways to get your kids to enjoy healthful and delicious foods, try one of these amazingly artsy lunch ideas.
Through a tonsillectomy all the way to brain surgery, my mother deserves some recognition. She's my spine, my birthday shadow, my BFF, my thunder buddy, so Mommy, thank you.
My son needs me, as much as yours needs you. Sadly, my son needs me more. He needs someone to have his back, when it seems that the police, the men he'd wave to with excitement as a little boy, see him as a being worthy only of prison or death.
If you know someone who has adopted and have made some of these comments, don't fret... now you know!
"Because you shine from within," I said, touching my finger to her heart. "Not everybody sees it, but I do. I see it. And my job is to protect that light. So when people say mean comments that squelch that light, I want you to tell me. I will protect your light by listening and loving you, my brave, courageous, and unique little firefly."
Studies have shown that it helps, top education officials have recommended it, and now doctors are officially saying the same.
I may have accidentally dropped you a few times, forgotten to document your first fart, let a little pee fly and dressed you like an idiot, but I have also loved you with every piece of me, and you will never hear an apology for that.